Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Zhou Guoping said:
it is true that a lot of troubles in one's life lie in thinking too much and caring too much.
want to be perfect in doing things, and want to be perfect in life.
but little do you know that some things cannot be forced, let alone be taken seriously indefinitely.
the more you think about it, the easier it is to magnify things and trap yourself in the quagmire of bad people and things.
in the second half of life, you should learn to be bearish and free and easy.
in these four aspects, there is no need to haggle over everything and take everything seriously.
do not take the villain seriously, because it is not worth hearing from the old man: "it is better to offend ten gentlemen than one villain."
but there are villains around everyone more or less, so how on earth should we face it in order to avoid trouble?
there is such a truth in the Book of changes:
means that when you are passive, do not take the villain too seriously, and it is wise to get out in time.
my friend Dadong, recently encountered an unlucky thing.
one morning, he drove to see a big customer and was parked by a car on the way.
the other car owner not only did not apologize, but also proudly gave him a middle finger.
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Dadong was angry, honked the horn and chased after him, rolling down the window to reason with each other.
unexpectedly, the other party not only did not apologize, but also shouted abuse at him directly. Scolding, the two men simply got out of the car and got into a big fight, and finally they were both taken away by the traffic police, and no one got any better.
Dadong was not only punished for this, but also delayed the time agreed with the customer and lost a big order.
later, every time he mentioned this matter, Dadong regretted it and brought endless trouble to himself in order to take a breath.
in fact, there are countless gory events in life telling us:
never argue with the villain, because the villain cares about everyone.
you can still reason with a gentleman, but if you are too serious with a villain, not only can you not take advantage of it, but you may be bitten back and dragged into an endless quagmire, and the loss outweighs the gain.
the best way to deal with bad people is to stay away; for bad things, the best way is to ignore them.
the larger the pattern, the less entangled.
taking a step back with a smile is not cowardice, but the wisdom of being a human being.
do not take it seriously with your family, because it is bad for you.
netizens often ask, what is the best way to maintain a marriage?
there are many answers. Understanding, tolerance and communication are all antistaling agents for marriage.
but in my opinion, almost all ways of getting along with each other are based on indifference.
Bixia and Lao Yang are a typical couple with an "indifferent" mentality.
when they first got married, the wedding house was still the old house shared by the unit, but Bixia did not care or complain.
later, when I had a child, I couldn't live in the old house. The two men emptied their savings to buy a new house, but the down payment was still poor.
my parents-in-law said with great embarrassment that they could no longer support their brother-in-law after getting married.
Lao Yang felt sorry for his wife. Bixia comforted him in turn: "parents have worked hard for their children all their lives and have no obligation to be gnawed by their children again and again. There will always be a way to gnash our teeth."
many friends don't like her very much and think she is stupid, but I don't think so.
Bixia likes to collect cups. Whenever Lao Yang goes on a business trip, he always travels thousands of miles to bring her a cup with local characteristics and never finds it troublesome.
usually Bixia has a headache and fever. Lao Yang must take good care of it with tea and water, without a word of complaint.
what he often says is: "my wife has paid so much for this family, how can I not treat her well!"
Bixia is not serious, in exchange for the husband's double love and gratitude, but also in exchange for the happiness of the family.
there is a good saying that happiness is not getting more, but caring less.
if we have to make a clear distinction between you and me in everything, and care about who pays more for this family, even if we win in the end, the relationship will fade.
Happy families know how to tolerate and share, and unhappy families will compete with each other and haggle over each other.
Pinger in A Dream of Red Mansions says:
Home is the last place to worry about, and many things will pass if you turn a blind eye.
if you have to take everything seriously and hurt the peace, then the family is not far from decline.
do not take it seriously with the past, because you want to move forward
like Tao Yuanming's sentence: "those who realize the past without remonstrance are traceable."
the past is a thing of the past, and no amount of remorse can change it. Instead of entangling with the past, take two more steps forward.
I have read such a story:
during World War II, in a remote town in France, it is said that there was a magic doctor who could cure all kinds of diseases.
one day, a disabled soldier with a missing leg and crutches came here.
people are saying, "does he want the doctor to give him another leg?"
as a result, the soldier stopped and replied, "I'm not asking the doctor to give me a new leg. I just want to ask him to help me and teach me how to live without a leg."
physical disability did not make the soldier lose confidence in life, but made him accept it calmly and move forward bravely.
but in life, we have seen too many such people:
some are heavy.Immersed in the last failed love, I can't let it go; some have great prejudices and dissatisfaction with reality, and everyone likes to tell stories about their past.
but what about the results?
has been living in the feelings of the past, not only hurt himself, but also virtually rejected better people;
blindly indulge in the sufferings of the past, not only lost the motivation to change, but also turned people against.
everyone has a past, but your obsession and struggle not only make the past unable to let go, but also create new regrets.
not to take the past seriously, not to forget the past, but to learn to let go.
as Mr. Lin Qingxuan said:
all the missed people and things, the real meaning of their existence is to teach us to grow up.
you can only gain from loss if you don't take it seriously with the past.
the sharpening of the years will only make us stronger and stronger, and then go all out to live every day in the present.
if you don't take yourself seriously, you can meet a better self
life, which is often painful and confused.
but what is really painful is not the thing itself, but the fact that you regard yourself as the enemy.
I am very strict with myself. I always feel that I am not good enough, and I am out of breath.
in my daughter, Wu Xin talked about a thing that has been in my heart for a long time: "I have one more thing to work on. I've never told anyone."
it turns out that at the New year's Eve party a few years ago, the program carefully prepared by Wu Xin was finally removed.
she said that ten hosts only took off their own programs. Why? Because I'm the worst.
in fact, because of time, several people's programs were cut at the same time that year, but only Wu Xin got into his own dead end and still can't let it go.
most of the time, the more you care about something, the more likely you are to get hurt, to be serious with yourself, but to torture yourself.
like a big sister next door to me, she plays with flowers and plants and feeds stray cats every day. Because of her easygoing personality, the neighbors like her very much.
I thought she was a successful person in her life, but later I learned in a chat that my eldest sister was very strong when she was young and wanted to make a lot of money in business.
later, due to credulity, the business was in a mess and owed a lot of debts. Anxious and restless every day, she vowed to earn back all the money she had lost within a year. During that time, she slept only a few hours a day, and her temper became more and more grumpy. As a result, she was diagnosed with breast cancer before the debt was paid off.
finally, the eldest sister recovered and came out, and she was much more peaceful than before.
she said, "after a trip to the dead door, I know that the most important thing is to live a good life. Don't always mess with yourself."
the poor are poor and the rich are rich. This life is not long, why embarrass yourself too much.
later, she got rid of her bad temper, did yoga every day, respected her husband, slowly paid off her debt, and her life became better and better.
Life is a long time. Maybe you have made a lot of mistakes and struggles before, misread a lot of people and things, and bear a lot of injustice and prejudice.
but don't dwell on an awkward thing for too long, because in the end, you don't have a problem with it, but with yourself.
Life is a process of being hammered constantly. Only by letting go of yourself can you let go of the pain; only by letting go of the pain can you have a chance to be reborn in Nirvana.
learn to accept yourself, not to take yourself seriously, is really strong.
Life is short, time is limited, and there is too much sadness and heartache.
there is a saying in "the world is big, you happen to have you":
apart from birth, old age, sickness and death, there are few really important things in life.
there is no need to worry about trifles, and there is no need to argue with small people. Remember to be nice to yourself.
less calculation, more leisurely; less serious, more blessed.
pretending to be confused once in a while, let him go, it will bring you one step closer to happiness.
the rest of your life is not long. May you let go of your troubles and travel light.